Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

What more could and Austen and zombie fan ask for (besides a movie)? All of our other favorites zombified, of course!

I am eagerly awaiting my advance copy. Get your own when it's released in June, I believe.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Can she vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you’d actually want to read.

JANE AUSTEN is the author of Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, Mansfield Park, and other masterpieces of English literature.

SETH GRAHAME-SMITH once took a class in English literature. He lives in Los Angeles.

Lost in Austen

I must tell you about this series from the UK, Lost in Austen.

A woman discovers Elizabeth Bennett in her bathroom then she leaves just as quickly. The next day is when they switch places, rather accidentally on Amanda's part but Elizabeth knew what she was doing. So Amanda finds herself in the middle of Pride & Prejudice her favorite story...ever. As they say in the UK it all goes tits up but surely it is made right in the end...

Mr. Darcy is fantastic he isn't crossing any fields like in the 2005 movie but he is a little over developed for a gentleman of the time. Not that I minded seeing him come out of the fountain all smoldering and wet looking like he was having his way with me with only his eyes.

Not that I find that attractive, men standing around being muscular and wet, some how, and staring me down. It doesn't hurt when the time is right for staring which is pretty much every time I sit down for a movie. So don't get me started on 300 and all those thighs running around in leather underpants. Which should be edited to my own personal liking with only thighs and butts for the most part. I'll take stomachs and whatever else as long as it's not all talking and fighting.

But yes if you are a devote Austen fan or even Jemima Rooper fan, make haste!! If you want to know where to find it, free and safely, ask me.

Such a liar.

I said I was going to do this and that but I haven't. Even with the computer I haven't done anything.

I will admit to too much British TV.

Do not be surprised if I develop an accent and have at least one of the following abilities:

-solving crimes only a genius can figure out
-a sharp-tongued comedienne from Ireland. "I'm a happy drunk!"
-super hero
-character from any of Jane Austen's novels...a TV series as well!
-a lonely janitor in space (with robots, I made) forced there by crazy scientists and made to watch horrible movies all while making you laugh hysterically at my jokes (not British)
-taking a holiday in Benidorm, Spain. It's all inclusive!
-one of two gardeners who happen to work where a murder always happens and I solve it!
-70's era Mr. wizard who explains it all without the Mr.wizard but stupid, wrong and fun all at once
-in space (again!) but in charge of a lackluster crew of hapless idiots trying to stay out of trouble but then again I am Simon Pegg's best friends, in real life.
-an attractive teacher with a great voice...oh I turn myself on
-psychic working at a Scottish University solving paranormal phenomenon. Yeah for finally being a Scot!
-a witch who gives birth to some devil child or whatever, he's so hot I'd fuck my own kid but too bad I die.

Let's not start with American TV. Nor my love affair at living at the top of the world. I know I would be miserable for the 9 months of unimaginable temperatures but it's irresistible for now and I like thinking of living there for a year. Driving on rivers and seas and for 4-6 weeks you can only come in by plane. The Dempster Highway into town during the summer is dusty, which is an understatement and there is just one gas station on it's 375 mile journey. They manage to have more than my own county has...go figure. I should mention it's Inuvik, Northwest Territories, Canada. If you have heard of Yellowknife and thought it was really far, Inuvik is further north.

I'm A, Inuvik is B...Canada is too big.


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